Good morning Universe and Hello my beautiful Spirits! I am up very early again after a second night of restlessness. My first thoughts have been to get to this space.
I am fussed by my ‘ex’s’ activities, I don’t think I recall a ‘break-up’ that has ‘bugged’ me so much, or I am rushing a process of healing – that cannot be skipped?
You have a tendency to deny yourself the full process – to completion. [You] ‘runaway’ instead of going within to explore the lessons and fully feel the emotions bubbling up for letting go of. You have a tendency to keep busy over time but distracting yourself from what is going on inside does not allow the emotions to flow in their natural way. This is how and when this unexpressed ‘stuff’ finds a place to rest in your cells, affecting the smooth operation of the entire Being.
You have experienced the cellular cleansing of Ayahausca many times – it is a ‘distinct’ experience of sensation as she ‘takes inventory’ of what you have stuck and where. Like unraveling a large pile of intertwined wool, she assesses the extent of your damage, and like the awesome project manager she is, she has a plan for you if you are willing to follow it.
You have a tendency, when you are hurt, to suck it up, dust yourself off and continue on. Stop to ask, “what just happened?” Assess the damage before hitting the road again.
“Ayahausca Ayahausca, give me give me understanding.”
Keep the pen moving. You have questions, ask them.
So a couple of nights ago I had a brief dream in the form of a vision, it was the sleep before waking to the post out of Greece, I didn’t recall I had had the dream until yesterday. Upon recalling it I was somewhat spooked by it, not because of its premonitory nature, but because it showed me a level of connection with my ex that goes way beyond any physical distance between us. In this dream-clip [he] was manically happy, jumping up and down saying, “I’m overseas! I’m over seas!”
As I continue to consider the ramifications of this incident I have to wonder if my sleep upsets this past couple of nights has something to do with my ‘awareness’ on this other level.
You are family, you were close companions in each other’s bubbles until very recently. As the great spy and seer you are, has it occurred to you that by remote viewing you can be that proverbial fly on the wall?
He is authentically excited in his manic upswing, he actually believes you ought to be happy with him, you are happy, and you do not have to agree with his choices of action. What he wants is sound, what he’s willing to do to nurture and grow it does not ‘line up’ with his desires. You have watched men chase and act upon their ‘fantasies’ before, has it ended well for them?!
A fantasy is similar to a wish, it lacks clarity of purpose and the only actions it demands are fleeting with little lasting results.
Your dream is worth fueling! Your vision of ‘Utopia’ is sounder, more ‘real-istic’. Your willingness to step up to it, your willingness to be who you desire to be to line up with it is all that’s left.
You are fundamentally the exact ‘right person’ right now for this next leg of your journey. Make no mistake, you launched some powerful rockets into your vortex over your last 5 or so years! You are doing the work of ‘healing’ and you understand how important your work is to ‘the whole’.
You have experienced and observed the results of putting off or resisting growth and expansion, it appears there is more to lose by doing this as opposed to focusing on your dream in the light.
To resist, to go upstream of natural flow is part of an unconscious journey.
Why fight the flow?
“What you focus upon expands”. As you shift, your focus from over there to over here again, over a short time, your connection with your lost lover will fade into the din.
You have connected with your partners as well as you were able to in faith, this time you connected ‘unconditionally’. Unfortunately for him, he missed the good stuff and is as subjected to your connection even more so in his unaware state.
Yes a big mess has been created, you can turn away from it now as you have ‘dealt’ and are dealing with your part in it.
As you always have, leave them to their delusions, dysfunction and drama!
You have delicious and important work to do. Your brand of fun is long-lasting and contributive and ALWAYS from love.