2:20am
Good morning Universe and Greetings my most trusted and beloved Spirits. I am here at a most unusual and ‘exciting’ time. I think if I was to pick one word that sums up my current state, it would be “shock”.
The events of the evening unfolded in a very surreal way and I am reminded of another time when I found myself swimming in this hyper alert state of intuitive pummeling!
Thank you for the validation of my gift albeit in a slightly twisted and self-deprecating way.
Sleep will escape me over the pounding of my heart and the shaking of my being.
I am left questioning the definition of betrayal. Is it betrayal if we see it coming?
It is times like this I will find more appreciation for later. I am left with much better understanding of what I want.
How cowardly to end things this way.
I am don with this. My work here is complete. I will be attracting much more of what I really want going forward. For now let me rest and I will be back to this page in the morning.
9:00am
After a wee nap between 4 and 7:30 I am up again, hot tea and still somewhat shaky in the fresh uncertainty. The mirrors are up and I am gaining new perspective on this journey riddled with betrayal.
So how am I betraying? Oh let me count the ways.
Remain strong as the emotions bubble up. Your fresh feeling places are almost fully engaged and I am reminded by Aya’s whispers to ‘let it flow’. The rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure and tightening in your throat are indications of resistance to the flow – friction, heat and hatred are the by products of resistance.
Intellectually I know that ‘all is well’ and as it should be, that I will look back upon this as valuable learning and a catalyst for – perhaps extreme change, but today is raw. There is little for me to do but breather through the sharpness of emotion.
Honestly, I am aware of my preference for this leading edge experience but whew it can be a rocky ride.
I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you.
Your purpose is always with you. Every life experience counts to shape what being on purpose looks like for you. These diversions and distractions are all part of the story you are creating with your desires.
Now is a time to go within, go deep within. Your fresh heart can withstand far more than you can imagine, nurture it and protect if from the stone life throws up at you.
This is the year to stand strong for your beliefs – to lead. You are far more emotionally fit than most. ‘They know not what they do’. There is nothing external to blame.
Betrayal has been a primary theme as we look back on the events of this life. There is enough evidence to indicate specific incidences that occurred when you were young. The inexperience of young parents, the loss of your angel and others that condemned you for your difference.
Stay focused on the light. You are loved and guided from within. Let the emotions flow, your hardest lessons are before you, breathe.
8:40pm
Hello again Universe! Thank you to my beautiful spirits for watching over me through this turbulent day. Tonight I am feeling the fatigue of lack of sleep and spent emotions.
I retreated to my parent’s space for a break from the tension filling the air. Tonight I believe I will sleep.
It is a solitary place I find myself in. I will be ‘gun shy’ for some time as I shake off the energy of this experience and prepare to step more fully into my purpose and destiny.
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank You. I Love You.
