Good morning Universe and Hello my beautiful spirit! It was a rough day yesterday as I gained more insight into the magnitude of my cousin’s dysfunction. From my broader perspective I see a massive wall ahead for him and with the speed he is gaining towards his fantasies, I’m not sure he’ll survive the next crash, and it is coming. He is blind to the logic that serves him. He is somewhat delusional in his animalistic desire. From my heart I hope he finds real love one day, and honestly, not sure it’ll be in this iteration for him.
This is all valuable validation for my intention. Being ‘Grownup’ isn’t all fun and the dark is necessary for our existence.
Learn from this and congratulate yourself on the growth you have accomplished – in spite of – your environment! Of course you screwed up! Congratulations again. You are trusting your inner GPS, in fact there’s no one else to trust. This is not a ‘jaded’ kind of mistrust. It is more of a respect for where they are at. The same kind of respect you give a wild animal. It is best to back away gently and slowly to where the inevitable fear will be acted upon.
Your ability to choose regardless of your instinct to act in the moment – your awareness of Self allows you to be more responsible than an animal. The one thing that distinguishes the difference between human and beast is the one thing a large percentage of humans are simply ‘unaware’ of. It’s the one thing that you are all about. Without the one thing human remains beast like in his life activities. There are animals – particularly your domesticated ones – that are wiser than some of your humans.
You have let yourself drift far enough to witness your range of choice diminish. It is you feeling like the trapped animal now.
Time and actions will tell the accuracy of your assessment of future circumstances, and you are getting much more accurate in your readings over experiences.
I feel like I did when I was trying to process what had happened with G.H. after he left. I recall reaching a point where I was aware of being sucked into my own dark vortex in my obsession to know truth. This all has to be filed away so that I can get back to focusing on my life’s purpose. It is done in love and light.
Congratulations for breaking free of your patterns of negative influence – well at least the ‘root’ ones – symptoms of them will subside as you heal. You will find it easier to say ‘no thank you’ to some of the more chronic behaviours that may not ‘support’ your ultimate good going forward.
Apply what you have learned. Therein lies the ‘gold’ you seek.
My thoughts are not my own right now. Reach out! Extend your bubble, turn up the volume, drown out the crazy around and sail on to bluer seas.
You’re getting it pretty right for you. It is a big thing to know this humility, remember it to keep you sharp. Your newly – found ability to really FEEL a full set of emotions is like going from playing a 2-scale portable keyboard to having a virtuoso granddaddy piano placed before you.
It will take time to fully master the use of several more keys! What was impossible on the Casio is all-possible on the Steinway! Grow into your new instruments, practice, practice, practice. You deserve the best! You expect it of yourself and consequently of your world and certainly of those that are ‘supposed’ to love you.
Continue to ‘expect miracles’, carry on in love and light. Your most fun you’ve ever had with your clothes on is just up ahead once you get round the next bend you see there…